i’ve been thinking about how some emotions are temporary and often sudden: nervousness, jealousy, hurt feelings, disappointment—reactions to something external. they grab my stomach and squeeze, contracting and twisting my guts into nauseated unease. but they always let go, eventually.
other negative emotions are more insidious; they creep up on me if i’m not paying attention, and they come from inside. anxiety and depression are just a tiny black dot living quietly just below my ribs in my center, but occasionally that dot grows and swirls, tangling and knotting and getting heavier and heavier, throwing out tendrils that slither around my lungs and heart until it’s hard to breathe, hard to feel anything except black weight. time will pass and those tendrils will retract, but they leave scars and shadows.
all of these negative emotions are contracting and constricting.
love, on the other hand, is expansive, and fills me until i feel like i will burst and bubble out with the joy of it.